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No News is Good News

January 17, 2017

News Worthy?

“Scientists announced today, that they have discovered a cure for apathy.

However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.”

George Carlin

Consider

It’s all fake news.

News

: new information or a report about something that has happened recently

Gossip

: information about the behavior and
personal lives of other people

m – w. com

Close enough.

I could rest my case there,  but since I am writing this for my own entertainment,  I’m going to keep going.

“You ever watch CNN for longer than, say, 20 hours in one day?

I gotta cut that out. Watch CNN. It’s the most depressing thing you’ll ever see, man.

“WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS, RECESSION, DEPRESSION, WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS.”

Then you look out your window – (crickets chirping) – where’s all this shit going on, man?

Ted Turner is making this shit up.

Bill Hicks  “The News”

It is a distraction,  like movies sports and television. Albeit a highly profitable one for the corporations that are playing for pay.

Relevance

CNN      Cave Neanderthal News

With reporter Slough Dawn Progress

Today,  after aeons of linear “time” and an incalculable number of generations since her ancestors once flowed out of the primordial ooze, first swimming, then crawling and eventually standing upright. Eva Lew Shun here, has developed the growth of a new appendage.

(Where this should have stopped.)

Her great uncle Stan Dean Tall and aunt Lena Dover Nomore through telepathy, taught her that by harnessing the power of the universe, aided by infinite intelligence could summon the will to manifest another digit from her wrist.

With excitement and apprehension, she is looking forward to putting it to use. She is going to call it a thumb. Artists and scientists are also eager to duplicate the implementation of the opposable thumb.

Eva has been picturing in her minds eye, that with this thumb, tools can be designed and made, so that a cave can be made to her likeness and in a place where she chooses.  Adam Nitwit says he will help build it with her.

Eva Lew Shun’s only apprehension comes from when she shared this thumb concept with a few others who, for one say it won’t work, its never been tried.

Others think it is a counter evolutionary and “bad” things will come from it. The reason they are calling it an opposable thumb, is that they are against it.

It is predicted that from this will come the ability to make better cave drawings.

(Stop,  Stop, this can only get worse.)

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From → humor, random

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