Attention Bank Robbers

Jewel thieves

Car jackers

.

Keep doing what you are doing

Should you get caught red handed

You can use metaphysical science

And presidential precedent to plea

Not guilty

Just surround yourself with enough

Noodniks, lawyers and hangers-on

To make your innocence case for you

On the inferred suggestion intimated

That hints you may share the booty

Or perhaps get to drive the stolen car

Or wear the shiny diamond for a time

Play with the “power and prestige”

Even though it was ill gotten gain

If as they say you can’t take it with you

Which seemingly applies to everyone

Therefore no one “owns” anything, right?

Henceforth making it impossible to steal

Besides that, all you would have to do is

Make them “define” “money” should you

Have duffle bags full of what was “stolen”

Prosecutor: you were caught with 2m worth of cash in your bags

Defendant: those are just rectangular pieces of cloth with ink on them

Prosecutor: they have value assigned to them by the treasury

Defendant: still regardless, how the cloth is printed, costs are the same

Prosecutor: yes, but society has agreed these have values of exchange

Defendant: understood, however the insurance will replace it therefore it is like it was never missing.

.

 

Judge : You have a point.  Not Guilty.