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The Erin Brockovich Paycheck

December 6, 2022

Who knew a docudrama movie, played by such a Pretty Woman would inspire so many climb on board class action lawsuits?

Did you or anyone you know, live on, near or in the vague vicinity of Camp Lejeune between 7:53 pm August 1, 1952 and 3:03 am December 31, 1987 (time added for hyperbolic exaggeration).

Did you have a glass of water while thinking of Camp Lejeune? Then quick call OUR hotline now 1 800 EXPLOIT

Do you not like the way your child turned out, especially since the alleged bundle of joy, wasn’t planned or prepared for.

Would you like to blame a corporation with deep pockets, so you can distract yourself with minute, instead of actually dealing with your offspring. Think you can attach that to aspirin, then call 1 800 BIG PILL

Do you hate ugly flowers, did you use a chemical so toxic it practically melts the indestructible plastic container it came in. With a skull and crossbones so apparent on the package it obliterated the warning, not to use unless wearing a bio-hazmat suit. We can help. Call 1 800 NO WEEDS

Same goes for similar scenarios regarding the use of talcum powder, foam fire suppressant, baby formula, hot coffee, etc..

At the law offices of Dewey, Screwem and How and our coattail hangers-on scattered across the country, like Phil MT Pockets. We will do the work for you, as soon as we spend millions of dollars on advertising to eke out just enough lazy litigants to warrant a lawsuit.

Can’t argue with numbers, except where we promise there will be no cost to you unless a settlement is reached, when we then inform you, our fee is 50 to 80 percent of the take, which may take years.

“What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”

“A good start.”

– Gavin D’Amato

“War Of The Roses”

Wouldn’t want to graduate scientists and doctors that can determine the safety and usefulness of substances meant to interact with humans before they might cause harm.

Plus engineers that build machines to test and filter water. Find safer ways to remove foliage (I know……Napalm.) (Nevermind, that kills human also.)

Much better to have people waiting by the phone to wrangle with words, then to actively participate in working with tools, that might eliminate harm to people and prevent lawsuits.

Nevermind, that could elevate our collective consciousness in bringing balance and understanding of why we are here. Instead of manufacturing an economy of haves and have nots, with greed pigs hiring alleged Robin Hood’s to get them money, knowing who actually gets it, the middleman.

“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”

– Angelo Devlin


From → random

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