I Am Transitioning

From a hideous person

To a beautiful person

And yet….

No surgeries are scheduled

No amount of pretty plastic

Puttied around a putrid

Appearance will alter my

Perception of how I see

Myself internally



Likewise, no knife is sharp enough

To cut off the layers of linear

Accumulated self doubt and anger



No amount of bandages and time

Will heal the gross misunderstanding

Of the value there is in just being here



Words are the cure

Magical mystical words

Using divine dialog

Repeated in the reverse ad nauseum

To auto suggest I may have value

There is creativity in kindness

Beauty in perceptions

Patience in infinite supply





And just when I think I have

No closure for this blog post

My musical muse presents

A song on the radio, I’ve never heard

By a band that I do not know

At just the right time and place




“Might Love Myself”


“Think I might
Think I might love my-
Think I might
Think I might love myself

I thought love was overrated
And I don’t know how to take it
Still chasing ghosts
I feel so unsure
And I sold myself a lie
Still gave it one more try
Gave everything that I had and more

Couldn’t happen to me
Couldn’t happen to me
Couldn’t happen to me
Ooh, then it

Took my body over
Lost all my composure
Never felt quite like this before
Chemistry is changing
Emotions rearranging
I’m outta my cage
Breaking my spell
Think I might
Think I might love myself

Trade my hope for pain
Still hate who I became
How long am I gonna be young and lost?
Might never feel right
Never be clear
But nothing’ll change until I face my fear
Done paying the price without knowing the cost

Could it happen to me?
Could it happen to me?
Could it happen to me? Yeah

It took my body over
Lost all my composure
Never felt quite like this before
Chemistry is changing
Emotions rearranging
I’m outta my cage
Breaking my spell
Think I might
Think I might love myself

Think I might
Think I might love my-
Think I might
Think I might love my-

Focused on the time
How I’m losing every minute
Gotta make a choice
Gotta push it to the limit
Never felt better
Never making an apology
I’m exactly who I wanna be

I’m exactly who I wanna be

Well, it took my body over
Lost all my composure
Never felt quite like this before
Chemistry is changing
Emotions rearranging
I’m outta my cage
Breaking my spell
Think I might
Think I might love myself

Think I might love myself
Think I might love myself”



– Beartooth




Think of all the wasted money that could be saved

On the Josef Mengele type of deformation surgeries

When it could be replaced by words and dialog

Self reflection transitioning to real self-love

A deep understanding that transcends what

Other people think that unbeknownst to society

Are probably in the same boat of confusion

Just aren’t willing to lop off and add appendages




Oh wait, I forgot, that will not help the economy

Driven to distraction over who should do what

At whatever age a notion occurs at the time

Adolescents playing Dr. Frankenstein with themselves

Because they can and parents allow it as some

Sort of fraudulent freedom, irreversible, now prison

On the gamble that their outer self

Will reflect their inner self / selves




Speaking of gambling

On most  legal “gaming” machines

There is a clear rule that states

No one under 18 / 21 is allowed to play

Out of the many reasons, am sure thar

One would be, not having the maturity

Let alone have the money required to play




“Sometimes, I just follow

A dark path…… because

I can not find my way.”

– Angelo Devlin