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A Chrithssmasth Thong Ruined

January 3, 2019

By Articulation and Enunciation

Or perhaps “political correctness”
It wasn’t until 1987 when A&M records released “A Very Special Christmas” with, at the time current pop stars such as Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, Run-D.M.C., U2, Sting, Whitney Houston, Bon Jovi, The Pretenders, John Mellencamp, Bob Seger, Bryan Adams, Eurythmics, E Street Band, The Pointer Sisters, Alison Moyet, The Silver Bullet Band.

Prior to that, it was stars like Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Connie Francis, Burl Ives, Johnny Mathis, Eartha Kitt, etc.

Rarely and thankfully there wasn’t much “Country Christmas”.

That CD released the onslaught of Christmas songs by anyone with vocal chords, desperately putting their take on “traditional” songs.

In 2018 somewhere between Pandora and Sirius, I heard someone ruin “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”. It was a country singer and I don’t want to shame them.

Completely leaving out the audible kicker, that the singer is a kid missing their two front teeth, therefore lithsping the part, highlighting they have no way to wish anyone a Merry Christmas.

Completely eclipsing the whole point of the song in the first place. Most poignantly on “Sister Susie sitting on a thistle”, sung originally with extended s’s for entertainment value and making the listener believe the singer is missing teeth.
All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth:

Every body Pauses and stares at me
These two teeth are gone as you can see
I don’t know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!

Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas.”

It seems so long since I could say,
“Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!”
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,
if I could only whistle (thhhh, thhhh)

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth.

Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas!”

Oh well

Happy New Year.

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From → humor, kids, Lyrics, Paradox, random

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