A Hostage Situation

“I feel good tonight, I really do.

I finally got something I always wanted and that’s important. It really is. 

I finally got some, uh…. hostages. 

Well, you see so many people with hostages nowadays and you say,

“Hey, I’d like some, too!”

So I’ve got three of ’em, they’re really nice people.

We’re getting along great, they’re tied in a sack, outside, at the top of the flagpole.

And I’m gonna blow ’em up at midnight, too. 

Unless, of course,

I get my…… three demands.

A hundred thousand in cash, 

A getaway car and

I want the letter M stricken from the English language. 

See, you have to make one crazy demand, that way, if you get caught, you can plead insanity.

Ha ha….. Getaway car. 
What other gags are there?”

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– Steve Martin

“Comedy Is Not Pretty”

“Hostages”

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“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

– Dr Wayne Dyer

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When the official policy

Of the United States is

Not to negotiate

With terrorists

Is it any wonder

Nancy and Chuck

Refuse to give in to

The demands of 45

Albeit a little strange

That the

Despotic dictator

Hostage holder

Is bunkered down

In an oval office?

Rather

“Thee” “Oval Office”

Holding 800,000

Americans hostages

Restricting their freedom

And ability to provide

For their families

Having some work

WITH OUT PAY

I believe that was

Once known as slavery.

Single handedly doing this

Unless, of course,

He gets his….. three demands.

The optics of not appearing foolish

A return to his former life

And an ineffective, scaleable, cutable, that one could pass illicit packages through, wall, barrier or peaches.

See, 45 had to make one crazy demand, that way, when he gets caught, he can plead insanity.

Ha ha….. Not appearing foolish and a return to his former life.

What other gags are there?”

Might be kinda difficult to pull those off, whilst handcuffed wearing an orange jumpsuit, behind a concrete wall.

Wouldn’t it be great / ironic

If those 800,000 immediately

Found good gainful employment

Never to return

And when the partial shutdown ends

Nobody will take those jobs

To be put in that situation

Of being held hostage

By their own president

That they’d be “forced” to hire

Undocumented workers
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Not sure if that is black irony

But it is definitely brown irony