Burden Some
Everyone is carrying some of
Everybody else’s burden
Making metaphorical socialism
The new norm by which
The collective is weakened
Unscalable emotional weight
Determined by puffy projections
Feeding narcissistic egos
Believing “their” help is best
Yet, the forgotten lesson of
The caterpillar transforming
Into a beautiful butterfly is an
Unintentional murder-suicide
Albeit with the best intentions
One might stumble across a
Chrysalis with a creature inside
Struggling to make it outside
The unknowing ego thinks
That it can perhaps help
So it pries open the cocoon
Partly because on the ego level
He or she hates their own struggles
Only to have the butterfly weakened
To an unfulfilled shorter life
That is the murder part
The suicide part is by “helping”
It brings on an internal demise
Knowing that their alleged help
Did more harm than good
All of the mental regrets
Plus, woulda, shoulda, coulda’s
Will not change the outcomes
Of a misdirected unconscious
Desire in wishing to receive
The help allegedly administered
Free, but imprisoned by all the
Woulda, shoulda, coulda’s
It is a catch-22 for sure
If someone is too proud or
Doesn’t know to ask for help
Is one helping by helping
Or carrying a burden
That burdens everyone
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
– Angelo Devlin
Looking at the world through a windshield. 
This is profound. It has taken me a few read-throughs.
Does this fit?
A friend was hit up by an ex-con trying to make it in regular society. His car broke down and he claimed he couldn’t get to work because the other blue-collar employees were afraid of catching a cold/flu.
My friend said she’d pay for Uber rides for him for two weeks. He said the job was over an hour away. She asked me for advice.
“Sounds like a more foundational issue than what a patch of expensive uber rides will fix. Have him reach out to the Knights of Columbus or call 211, a free service in most towns which will help you get on your feet.”
The guy rejected those suggestions. She gave him money but he said it wasn’t enough. And now she feels bad because he’s mad at her. He’s just some guy she met on the street.
Does that go along with the suicide part of your idea? Her inclination to help is laudable, but it will never be enough for someone who is just taking advantage of her. Then she is the one who collapses out of guilt. And he pisses on her more (while probably looking for another victim to take advantage of.) Or at least he doesn’t figure out how to struggle enough to get stronger?
How can we know how and when to give real help? Without destroying the necessary struggle that strengthens?
Like a spotter in gymnastics. Just a finger touch to give the gymnast confidence that they can make the leap, but not do the flip for them.
I’m going to keep thinking about what you say here.
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Sometime the help one needs, is no help at all. An acquired objective perspective detached from ego. (The dude or damsel saver)
The suicide part (harsh language) seems spot on. “Her inclination to help, will never be enough.”
Self preservation gets tossed out the window. Both parties are weaker. Although, if the :manipulator never found another easy mark. Eventually they’d be forced into self reliance. That would be the most evolutionary help.
The fish / fishing parable comes to mind.
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime”
If the recipient is a fussy eater or refuses to fish, there really is nothing to do but walk away. At no point does hurting oneself help anyone.
The spotter analogy is great, if the coach lifts more than a finger, the gymnast is not going to learn, or win a competition.
Maybe, that’s the guide. If you lift more than a finger. You are doing too much.
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