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Now I remember

June 7, 2017

Why I keep to myself and my thoughts to this blog. I have a commercial drivers license,  enjoy driving and am generously compensated. With just enough free time to jot these posts here before I sleep.

Hence the titles “Looking at the world through a windshield.” “Observations from the loose nut behind the wheel.”

A typical evening departure consists of giving my sweet-ums a kiss, after dinner and an entirely too brief of a visit.

Off to work I go. Arrive at the “yard”, to pre-trip (safety check the fluids, air, lights, etc.) the tractor. All good, go into the dispatch office.

Sit for a moment, to update “log” book  (government /society) required paperwork, tracking, on duty, off duty, and driving time. At a table with (to protect his identity) “Kevin” the constant complainer.

To be torturously treated to a tireless tirade of this place sucks, they cheated me out of my pay whine, cry, anger, vent, bitch, moan and complain.

My first,  just past survival reptilian instinct was to (just kidding) tear off his head, excrement down his gullet, reattach it long enough for him to be quiet, till I could get my dispatch, hook up three trailers and leave, in peace.

Instead, used my mamallian brain to say.

Umm, Kevin, you knew when you “bid” your run, might have to wait w/o pay for the first hour, till the other driver shows up.  Yeah, but, whine, cry, anger, vent, still was shorted and cheated on pay.

Oh ok, if you inform management of the discrepancy, they’ll fix it. More whining, crying, anger, venting, nobody knows what they’re doing, this place sucks.

It happens so rarely, I don’t remember it happening to me. Willing and qualified drivers are getting harder to employ.

The last thing trucking companies want to jettison is a capable albeit a crusty, crass, complaining curmudgeon, over a few bucks.

Then, in one of those slow motion instant replay “oh f#@k” what just blurted out of my mouth moments, I sternly said, “why don’t you just quit?”

WHAT? Start over someplace else?

In my head dialogue,  after instantly knowing,  already said five words too many. Why don’t you just quit?

You’ll gross between $80 and $100K and you are fretting over a few fixable fivers.

You drive through and into sparsely populated states on well maintained roads (save, a few short stretches) in safe equipment with a matched 401k and good health insurance. Whew.

Fortunately the company doesn’t know this, if money was no object,  I’d do what I’m doing for free.

Since I already opened mouth once, might as well try again if only to participate in the bizarre social experiment of humanity.

Off to the turn and transfer terminal to tentatively tell my tale of the repugnant reprehensible ridiculous rantor.

Who briefly held the bid I’m now running and switched because it was horrible and no one helped, left to soon and blah blah blah, personifing victimhood to a tee.

Am unfortunately aware probably should not be having fun at someone else’s expense.  However, really needed to dissipate the disturbing dark dialogue diabolically drenched on my day.(night)

Plus, probably a more human thing to do and interact with people, since I am working with them 5 nights a week.

One of the coworkers, who had his fair share of negativity with complaining Kevin, seemed a bit shocked that mild mannered Angelo would say anything.

Ta da, conversation practice accomplished, brief and benign. Dock work wrapped up,  head out to hook up trailers, to return. Same driver,  approached me out in the yard to point out a feature on the new trailers being placed into service in the fleet.

Learning this human interaction might be useful and kind. Then he described a similar situation he had of a complainer. Except, felt the bigoted compulsion to use thenword.

Aww *uck, here we go again, another reminder why I keep my interactions to a minimum, so as not to give a$$holes one too many opportunities to stick their foot in their mouth and show off their lack of intelligence.

When I told my tale, did not refer to that driver as a cracker complainer.  WTF is wrong with people?  Race had nothing to do with it.

Will there ever be a paradigm shift in our consciousness in the content and context of thenword.

Even Bill Maher was recently on the borderline of being blasted from his home box office soap box?

Granted, his context didn’t exactly reveal prejudices,  just poorly spoken in a manner that was cringe worthy.

Time to wise up or, take the approach that Dick Gregory suggested years ago, by using thenword so much it loses its meaning.

Certainly Katt Williams is doing his best of using it so much, it doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Unfortunately,  the only reason thenword  had any power is that we’ve collectively agreed to isolate it and allow the word to be a distractive focus.

If you read the three 99% posts, parents were far from perfect.  However, I appreciate that they never instilled any racism,  homophobia, or religious hierarchy into my being.

At this point, I’m thinking, could run through an entire 11 – 12 hour shift and not speak with anyone.  Even at the half way point where the drivers meet to rework the trailers, before departing on their return.

Quite sure everything could get accomplished with nods, hand gestures,  grunts, finger points, winks, mumbles,  head turns, whistles, waves, foot taps and eyebrow furrows.

So as not to be subjected to the privileged pinks, prides and prejudices.

Maybe the universe presented me with these situations to learn to better appreciate my own situation.



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