Money Can’t Buy

That kind of PR from anyone else but

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

 

SHS: Tom, your question

Tom:  Can you please explain why the president continues to shit on the US Constitution?  Is it because he can’t read and thinks it is toilet paper?

SHS: The president can read fine, he told me so this morning, as he peered over his crayon box. Before he tweeted, glimpses of his intelligence.

As for the constitution, it turns out that the president has special enzymes in his digestive tract when so combined with McDonald’s food and propecia residue, it forms a special emollient. His odorless  excrement smeared on aging papyrus, brings it back lfe.

Suze:  Since Jared will no longer be able to walk the president through the PDB how will he get this information?

SHS: The president will soon be getting the PDB’s from Faux News. As they have made their broadcast so nauseatingly soul draining and power glorifying that the only person left watching it, is who it was geared towards.

Bill:  Is it true, no previous administration could have blatantly gotten away with so many lies, deceptions, distractions, collusion, false promises, by scapegoating immigrants, holding the constitution in contempt, making policy in 140 characters or less, manipulating markets as insider trading to benefit his billionaire buddies, while schmoozing foreign presidents who manipulated the voting system of our alleged democracy?

Why is that?

SHS: To answer your question, the last thing I would want to do is quote a democrat. However it is the quickest most direct answer I can think of.

As James Carville would say.

“It’s the economy,  stupid.”

 

Just so Americans keep on consuming

Even though a Korean War is looming

Lest that’s just a ruse used for distracting

From an investigation that is happening

Lives of innocent students are dooming

Availing guns for hands that like shooting

Which could have stopped he’s claiming

Without even a cape 45’s maintaining

Until the teacher’s heat they start packing

Might even help with Johnny’s spelling

Certainly keep classrooms from yelling

On a home planet that we are ruining

Lying about a wall and neighbors paying

By an administration bent on deceiving

Capital fence can’t keep staff from leaving

Take away their guns, his base is fuming

That will start the process of impeaching

Or the 25th amendment be implementing

This new job kind of slowed his groping

As far as we can tell we are all hoping

Still can’t decide if dreamers are staying

Contemplate while a golf game playing

Promised us he wouldn’t he kept saying

One of hundreds of things he was lying

Trying to gain Putin’s affection he’s vying

First clue was the James Comey firing

A quid pro quo for Hillary Clinton spying

Paying a porn star off try keep quieting

A claim that he is not remotely denying

Maintain his reputation for womanizing

Doesn’t understand why Melania is crying

The only thing he has done in legislating

The amount paid in his taxes curtailing

Billionaire’s souls they are forsaking