A Not Hiring Hiring Sign

Might be the better tactic

Just a theory
I am not hiring nor
Do I need to be hired

However if I was….

The sign that would
Catch my eyes
Would read

NOT HIRING

Everyone working here at (fill in)
Is generously compensated
Has great health insurance
Flexible work hours
On-site day care
Compassionate management

Should you like to apply
To the short list of
Qualified applicants
Waiting to be hired
We optimistically encourage it

In the unlikely event that
Someone retires early or
The more likelihood of
Advancing internally due to
Compensated college education
Enhanced vocational training
Then apply today at (fill in)

Otherwise the ones up now
Wreak of dire desperation

HIRING HIRING HIRING

1-800-PLZ-WORK

Do you have a pulse
A body temp of 98.6
A vague ambition
To get out of bed
Willing to fill a void
Both yours and ours
Then join us (PLEASE)

We will practically
Do your work for you
Let you get away with
Treating customers poorly
No training necessary
For you might leave

Throwing out the big
Dollar per hour “hook”
As if trolling for fish
Will reel in a good fish
Using the same lure
Everyone else is using

“I’m not complaining. It’s a great job but. …..I could have done a lot worse. I go back to Massachusetts, I see a lot of the guys I grew up with and it’s sad……

Say, what have you been doing the last 10 years?

They go. Things are great, I’m making $16.00 bucks an hour. That’s all they have to say. First words out of their mouth is their hourly wage. How much is it worth to them to have their lives suck. $16.00 an hour.

How’s Dave? Oh, not so good, he’s only making $9.00 an hour, he was making $13, but he got laid off, but they brought him back, but he’s dating a chick who’s getting $14.00 an hour plus benny’s……”

– Doug Stanhope

“Something To Take The Edge Off”

I get benny’s. I get paid to sit on my butt in a climate controlled cab, listen to the radio, audio books, my I-pod, or nothing at all and think of this up to write down.

“I see people going to college for 14 years, studying to be doctors and lawyers.

I see people getting up at 7:30 every morning, going to work at the drug store to sell …… Flair pens.

But the most amazing thing to me is……

I get paid for doing this….”

– Steve Martin

Here is a simple technique and you do not even have to read the book.

“Do What You Love And The Money Will Follow.”

Marsha Sinetar