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Unseen Observation

March 21, 2022

“Hello, darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again”

– Simon and Garfunkel

I am guessing that, unlike in the movies, suicide is probably a lot more difficult to clean up after. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.

“We teach best what we need to learn most ourselves.”

– Richard Bach

R.I.P. Greg G

Information is coming in, in slow drips and drabs. Like the blood oozing out of the exit wound, of the death / suicide of a former classmate, turned coworker. Boss actually, however the classmate designation, kept us on equal footing.

After a series of medical maladies, seizures, cancer, respiratory and brain damage. Life was taking its toll, the latest round was jaw surgery.

All of the life is precious mantras, are not going to do one lick of good. You can put brand new batteries, in a car all day long. If it has been totaled, it is not going very far.

Forced to retire for ill health, living nearby, would see Greg, outside and get in a quick chat. Observing his new skinny frame and pasty ghost like appearance.

First hearing of his death, figured everything finally caught up to him. Turns out it did, just quicker than he was willing to wait for.

By driving himself out to the woods, (this is the picture, painted so far, the rest is by, the most likely scenario. The rumor mill, will never grind out the truth.) finding a spot to park his truck, just enough out of the way.

Locking it up, wouldn’t want anyone to steal, it, though, he wasn’t going to be using it any more. Walking “far” enough into the forest so nobody will hear the “one” shot.

Laying in the leaves and snow. Catching nature’s early spring ritual of completing its decomposition, so that it may start anew.

Exiting this world, did not make the truck, gun and rotting corpse dissappear, merely matter to be located, by suspecting passers-by.

Starting with the truck, then subsequent searches for the owner and why. Or the bloody body, could have been discovered by teenage “folfers” (frisbee golfers). Playing in the woods, that might dampen their game.

Besides attempts to make suicide illegal by the likes of those like John Ashcroft, it ought be a viable option to every body. Can’t quite make suicide a capital offense, now can we? There are no repeat offenders.

If you kill yourself we will kill you again. Because suicide is against the law. Ooopsie. That is the power, the “state” thinks it has, in determining who gets to live or die.

“Life is like a movie, if you’ve sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn’t going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early.”

Doug Stanhope

Perhaps the black pill option, would have been a lot more dignified and less messy.

Greg was obvious in rough shape.

Maybe the scales of life could be balanced if the notion, death is precious, at least under various conditions, would warrant it.

Consider how less messy it would have been, had he made the decision to leave, to say goodbye to his loved ones and friends, get shit in order, and make peace before the departure.

In his condition, who really could have argued that it is a bad idea. Maybe the Christians, would be jealous he would get to meet Jesus before they did. Therefore keep drumming into the collective psyche that only life is precious.

Everyone is carrying around, their black pill anyway. (If I am wrong, then I think darker than I dark think.)

If you are going to pick an exit of your own choosing, that black pill is always readily available. That methinks every one is carrying, might be compartmentalized deep in the cranium, but, there is a notion or a plan. One that has been visited at least once, as an option, that if things get worse, there is a way or ways to make that final exit.

His black pill, just happened to be made of brass and filled with gunpowder, leaving too many questions unanswered. Plus getting a lot more people involved, then need be.

When Bob Gunton played Warden Norton in the Shawshank Redemption, near the end of the movie, in the scene where the quick culmination of his dirty deeds were about to come to fruition. He took his own life with a gun.

Well not really, Bob Gunton is still alive. Warden Norton is dead, well not really, still his “suicide” had to be cleaned up. After being “staged” on a set with props, sound effects of a gunshot, broken glass, a dropped pistol and slumped body, corn syrup and food coloring.

Hopefully in one “shot”, ummm “take”. Safe to say, Bob cooperated getting up off the chair, so there was no dead weight to move around.
In case the scene had to be redone.

I’d rather be on the set in a warm Hollywood stage cleaning up that “mess”, than the one, the authorities, family and the unintentionally involved had to.

“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”

– Angelo Devlin








One Comment
  1. Anonymous permalink

    May your friend find peace in whatever new arrangement he’s in.

    I appreciate your comments on a delicate subject.

    Is it macabre to want to know: were there tears on his face? Was he smiling? Was he at peace? Drunk?

    Why do we not find people in lotus position who have ventured far into the wilderness to meditate until they die, letting the wild animals feast on their remains? (Did i answer my own question?)

    I wish for what you say. That someone could choose dignity surrounded by friends and family making jokes as they say goodbye. Getting in quips like Oscar Wilde:. Either this wallpaper goes, or i do!

    Liked by 1 person

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