A Really Strange Awareness

To be aware enough to wish

To not exist anymore

Not of suicidal desperation *

Rather aware enough

That you’ve done this before

Plus, I will do it / this again

And will repeat infinitely

Again and again and again

An exercise in futility

Knowing “the point

Of the journey

Is not to arrive” – Rush

Must be for journey’s sake

For the sake of experiences




Is it that elusive rainbow or

The next picturesque sunset

A glimpse of understanding

One of known knowing

That all of perceptible logic

Points in that direction of

Experiencing experiences




A photograph of a sunrise or sunset

Does not capture the breeze or heat

Felt at the time nor exactly the

Sentiment you wanted to cling to **

Only the light reflections off of the

Clouds and shadows that moved

The instant the camera clicked

Once on film, now in digital storage

Absolutely everything shifted

Before, during, and after the click

Waiting for a more perfect sunrise

Will only bring you to the setting sun

When will it be perfect to photograph

Never.

Dispose of the un-disposable camera

Capture the moment of the moment

Whilst in the moving moment and move on

To the next miraculous moment, then

Each moment will be as instantaneous

As it will last forever infinitely in infinity

Just not where you are at right now

Right now, or now, or now………

Ooopsie




*

“I just think that’s as interesting as hell. That’s probably the most interesting thing you can do with your life……. end it. I don’t think I could do that, though. Could you? God. I couldn’t commit suicide if my life depended on it.

But I understand it, you know. I think I do. I don’t wonder about it. I don’t wonder, well, why did he do that and what was going through his mind.

You know what I wonder, Where did he find the fucking time? Who’s got time to be committing suicide? Aren’t you busy? I got shit to do. Suicide would be way down on my list.”

– George Carlin


**

“Doesn’t anyone in this country just stop and look at things anymore? Sort of take them in, maybe even remember them?

Is that such a strange notion? Does experience have to be documented, brought home, and saved on the shelf? //

And do people really watch this shit? Are people’s lives so bankrupt, they sit at home looking at things they already did / (saw)?”

– George Carlin



Besides, how can anyone have time

For either, when everyone is pushing

A boulder up a sisyphean treadmill

Might as well keep going with a smile



Here is a mantra to help, maybe????


“Pardon me, while I
Plaster on a fake smile
And get through this shit
Just one more time.”

– Bill Hicks