For A.
I was that boy.
Filled with love and *wonderment
(*a better word twice presented itself as the best descriptive word, but was lost into the ether from not being in a position to write it down. If it shows up, can and will erase the content between these parenthesis)
Smiling at nothing to be smiled at, just an essence constantly rising to the surface.
Happy as a clam at high tide just for being a clam, protected by the waters of consciousness.
Playing with any toy as if it were the greatest toy exploring what it is while learning to use hands and fingers to hold it, coordinating with eyes and ears.
Being able to be oneself with out fear knowing the guides chosen are the best guides, who actually want / get to be guides.
The mirror appeared by circumstance and timing recognizing the lost soul / self within myself. Wondering if I could ever recapture and be that “self” or was it too…..(like the “best” word) lost into the ether?
A grandson opted to plop himself between myself and his Nana, when it occurred to me, that I was once that boy.
Something inside me told me I still was / am.
Was it beaten out of me? No.
Was it molested out of me? No.
Was it systematically drained through the repetition of deception, coerced into servitude in exchange for artificial love and pseudo affection? Yes.
By people who were obligated by society to be guides who would have much rather been doing something else. Anything else.
Was it constantly registered that its only value was based on the revenue it generated trading labor for dollars. In a constant state of busyness for the sake of being busy? Yes.
Perhaps this blog is that quest to find that “self” as many posts question the existence of God. Which in turn question my own existence and relevance.
Do I need to retrain my brain or search for that heart to get to the heart of the matter?
So that I may matter to those who matter.
Or will I be like the fading light in the center of an old black and white *TV, once its energy is exhausted……disappear?
*(For you young-uns, Googling that reference will get you nowhere)
Maybe the closest technological comparison would be that of watching the battery percentage meter on whatever electronic device countdown from 3….to 2….to 1 before it is “dead”.
Only time will tell, if I can / may be that boy. Knowing a self made path is as long or as short as one makes it.
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
Angelo Devlin
From seemingly
Out of nowhere
To be now here
Like sandcastles
On the beach
With no one around
You just pictured a
Sandcastle on the beach
With no one around
Wishing you had built it
Then realizing you are
The one that just did
Walking away with the
Satisfaction that it only
Took a second of your time
Feeling the warm sun
Hearing gentle wave splashes
Mixed with a cool breeze
Sauntering off slowly
To remember where you parked
Your VW convertible
Distracted by the wafting scent
Of the best coffee ever, ever
Your mission has changed
To the table under an umbrella
You grin at the wait staff and
Before you sit your coffee is waiting
To contemplate how thoughts form
What they would be like if there
Were no words to attach them to
Lives or privileged arrogance?
The following is one of those
Why people think they hate truck driver stories
On the last leg of an easy P & D day
(Pick-up and delivery)
(Which should technically be called
D & P because if you do not make
Deliveries there is no room for pick-ups)
On a wide sweeping turn just a mile
Or so before the terminal / truck dock
Observed two bicyclists riding
In the same direction as I was
I was using the SMITH system
A driver’s mental guide book so to speak
1. Aim high in steering
2. Get the big picture
3. Keep your eyes moving
4. Leave yourself an out
5. Make sure they see you
There are sub explanations for each one
However very useful safe guidelines
Having already seen the bicyclists, I also observed oncoming cars, that at the pace everyone was traveling would coincide with me going by the bicyclists as the oncoming cars would pass. Quite the quagmire.
Gave a gentle quick fart like toot of the air horn to make them aware of the tractor and two trailers presence. To no / know avail .
Maybe they had headphones on, enjoying their ride, ignoring their lives, so gave another courtesy toot, thinking they would scooch over a little bit into the shoulder lane. Nope.
They were following that white line like a Hansel and Gretal trail of bread crumbs.
Fearing if they got off of it, they would both be lost.
While making it safely pass (probably due to sucking in my stomach ,squeezing my shoulders inward and tightening my sphincter), the thanks I received was that of angry glares and the flipping of the bird .
I am not one of those drivers who thinks it is okay to share the road if you share the sidewalk, but geez, pay attention.
After all there would be less trucks on the road if people bought less bikes, they do not magically appear at the bike shop. Or do they?
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
– Angelo Devlin
Holy #UCK
Since when did incident
Become a euphemism
For forest fire??
Saw some temporary highway
Pointy pink placards
On the roadway that read
Incident
Up ahead
Do not report
All well and good
No sense in overwhelming 911
However…..observed no “incident”
Or anything considered reportable
(And hey, I make observations)
Prompting me to want to call someone
To find out what the incident was and or
Remind someone to take down the signs
There was a lot of smoke in the area
Yet fire and smoke are not incidents
Rather more of a circumstance
An ignited combustibles release fire
Therefore smoke is a circumstance
I can appreciate the use of
Incident over accident if let’s say two
Vehicles collided or one hit a guardrail
Yet saw nothing over several days
While the signs remained up
Because there are no “accidents” merely
Two or more things trying to occupy
The same space at the same time
That would be an unfortunate coincidence
Here’s the kicker
In a neighboring state on a different day
Which is having more brutal fires
I drove by what in my best recollection
Used to be called a “fire camp”
A wide cleared lot with large tents
Food services, showers and lots of
What appeared to be fire fighting equipment
Was now designated as an…….
Incident base………..WTF
Which must have being used
To feed rest and clean
Incident squelchers
As Rome burns while words are fiddled with
“I don’t like words that hide the truth. I don’t like words that conceal reality. I don’t like euphemisms or euphemistic language.
And American English is loaded with euphemisms, because Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality.
Americans have trouble facing the truth, so they invent the kind of a soft language to protect themselves from it. And it gets worse with every generation. For some reason it just keeps getting worse.”
– George Carlin
I guess if it is called a forest fire
Those responsible for not wanting
Some of it harvested to prevent
These “incidents” will feel bad and
Won’t be able to explain what it is
They were trying to “save” anyway
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
– Angelo Devlin
For some reason I can accept
The infiniteness of infinity w/o
Diminishing my cranium capacity
To accept the Big Bang Theory
Which as it states is just a theory
One religions like to glom onto as
A pseudo science justification to
Their invisible man creation theory
Proving neither one is at all factual
Yet it seems as though most like to
Cling to one or the other or both
As a story book starting point
To grasp at some definitive
Demarcation that they can put
Their comfy consciousness on
Regardless its improbability and
Made up out of thin or thick air
Quantification with zero proof
Anywhere or anyway in the cosmos
Other then to delineate a starting point
With in the beginning or
Once upon a time or
You are not going to believe this
Whenever it is, always has a
Prior understood back story
It simply becomes a matter or
Manner of unearthing the prequel
That will always have prequels
Sequels tangents and adjacents
Transforming sub characters
Into main ones and so on
Likewise locations and lighting
Knowing and understanding that
Why would anyone want to
Hang their hat on either theory
As absolute proof of something
That doesn’t matter in any place
Proof of my crazy comes from Genesis 1:1-2
1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
Ooopsie
“And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.”
Ummm, water hadn’t been created yet…..
To our best evolutionary awareness
Energy can neither be created or destroyed
The big bang theory suggests that
Everything that is came from something
Smaller than an atom….that is really small
But okay my mind is open
Almost open enough for
My alleged brain to fall out
What surrounded that “beginning” atom??
Air, water or a stop watch?
With man made heliocentric gradations?
I’ll wait here and contemplate knowing
Bipedal earthling’s arrogant conceit
Based its bogus calculations that
The universe is 13.8 billion years old
Whew….based on our little solar system
Floating on the outer edge of the Milky Way
When even just a planet away
The year calculation would be different
As an orbit around the main “light”
Not to mention on any one of any other
Planet or solar system in many galaxies
Billions of miles or light years away
So if there is a beginning to the universe
There must be an end as well…..
To paraphrase Dr. Wayne Dyer
[ I can not immediately find the quote]
(If there is an end to the universe, is there a wall? How thick is it and if so than what is on
The other side of the wall?)
That logic alone would should
Maybe perhaps explain that what is
Is and it has always been
It just merely changes shape
Through the transfer of energy
From kinetic to stored and vice versa
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
– Angelo Devlin
I want to know why as
An evolveable species
We create then cling to
Contrarian clichés
Such as …………
.
“Freedom is not free”
.
BS
.
Freedom is absolutely FREE
.
That is why it is called Freedom
.
(1 a. the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
.
M-W.com)
.
“Freedom is not free” which is
Usually driveled in the context
That one needs a weapon to
Attain it from someone who is not
Trying to take it in the first place
.
Methinks bi-pedal oxygen breathing, monoxide exhaling, red-blooded, skeleton supported, solar powered, carbon-based, large brained, earth inhabitant omnivore artists……will attain universal freedom when everyone leaves everybody else the #uck alone…….
.
Not as in 8 Billion people, not talking to each other, (although……..;) just not concerning themselves with what their indoctrinated baseless beliefs are based on. Political, religious, race, gender, wealth, and caste.
.
“It’s all about money, not freedom, y’all, okay? Nothing to do with fuckin’ freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without fucking money, okay?
.
Bill Hicks
.
This part was going to be
A part II
However, I am sticking
It here as I am
Free to do that
.
.
People’s Fascination
.
With Freedom
Is fascinating
To say the least
When instead of
Experiencing freedom
They huddle insecurely
In their group gulag
Telling themselves
They are free….yet
Preparing to fight
Someone who they
Believe might maybe
Take their freedom
.
(That is not being “free”)
.
Not me man
i egotistically and humbly perceive
That i am a particle riding my own wave
.
My perception of freedom
Would be to at will
Meld in to the ether
Alter my ego driven
Material form
Into water vapor
Rise into the clouds
Observe the green blue sphere
From a distance
Hang around for a while
Enjoy the view
Then fall asleep
Into a blissful stupor
Awake in condensation
To gently fall
In a field of green grass
Coagulate back
Into human form
Lying on my back
Staring into the day sky
Feeling the sun warm me
Cirrusly wondering next time
What shape to become
Stratocumulus or cumulonimbus *
To stir the imagination
Of someone else
Looking at the clouds
Knowing I am just as much
The clouds in the sky
As the earth under my back
.
See…..we both shared a freedom
That no guns or government
Could ever take away
*
Can you imagine the amount of
Egotistical audacity and
Narcissistic conceit it takes
To label and categorize clouds
.
Linguistically restricting one
From calling it a bunny rabbit cloud
Or an upside-down unicorn
Searching for a rainbow while
Avoiding a leprechaun
.
Just kidding you are free
To think whatever you want
.
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
– Angelo Devlin
“1000 Points Of Light”
“You can sail in the desert with a ship of fools
You can smuggle in Mozes and his book of rules
But you can’t take a mother and give her back her son
What kind of freedom is bought with a gun?
People like to build their prison walls
When they’re afraid to look inside a
Thousand points of light
Are the muzzle flashes in the night
And the freedoms you profess to hold
Won’t bring the dead back from the cold
Political speaches they’re laying in the mud
Nothing else matters but money and blood
Tell me your freedom is do what you like
There’s a world gone crazy ’cause it can’t say no
People like to build their prison walls
When they’re afraid to look inside a
Thousand points of light
Are the muzzle flashes in the night
And the freedoms you profess to hold
Won’t bring the dead back from the cold
A thousand points of light
Are the muzzle flashes in the night
And the freedoms you profess to hold
Won’t bring the dead back from the cold
There should be time for love
But there’s too much room for hate
Too much sliding of the truth
Too much abuse of wasted youth
There’s a time for dying and a time for living too
Had enough of realize, had enough of your alibis
A thousand points of light
Are the muzzle flashes in the night
And the freedoms you profess to hold
Won’t bring the dead back from the cold
A thousand points of light
Are the muzzle flashes in the night
And the freedoms you profess to hold
Won’t bring the dead back from the cold”
Bruce Dickinson
The earth does the work
The corporations
Collect the revenue
.
For a mere pittance
Gaia’s children
Move the harvest around
.
Alter its shape
Intention and purpose
To feed the Corporate beast
.
Behaving like it’s their idea
To obtain attain and retain
What trickles down
.
Squabbling over
Who has more while
Trying to get even more
.
Destroying their home
Crowded and cumbersome
Shitting where they eat
.
The balance is off
There is a need for balance
Balance c/would correct
.
The unfair labor practice
.
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
– Angelo Devlin
It is an awful feeling
To be perceived as
Someone who can not feel
When instead you carry
The weight of the world
On your shoulders
.
You just are unaware
Of how to communicate
Without further indulging
Narcissistic tendencies
That alone with a plan to
Which adherence surely
Would attain paradise
.
If only if only if only
I wasn’t so numb
Of my own volition
But tied all the same
.
Which is why I write
Knowing my ability
To communicate is
Splattershot at best
.
In print it is easily legible
Still hardly decipherable
.
When attempting to orate
Find myself very irate
.
For what rolls in my head
When it comes out as said
.
Only makes sense if read
If not better left unsaid
.
Or at least in that form
Can be decided if norm
.
Logic is the basis
After laying out my aces
.
Putting the cards on the table
As best as I am able
.
Meaning might be exacted
If not too protracted
.
Laid out to be extracted
Once it is redacted
.
For that is why
My lips are tied
.
When the string comes loose
Words tend to be obtuse
.
Yes, blunt, insensitive and stupid
Which is how they can be interpreted
.
When not on paper or a screen
To ponder what they really mean
.
For they seem to trigger emotion
As vast and large as the ocean
.
Though have no boat to float on
‘Cept anger vessel that is never gone
.
In a parent child relationship
Love is leverage seen or unseen
.
Where the fulcrum falls into place
Determines who has the leverage
.
Whether it be the use of the word
Or emotional power attachments
.
At some linear point it “should”
Balance, but alas it doesn’t
.
Forever shifting to the needs of the
Emotional, physical, revenue, care
.
Moment to moment for each
Situation has a tipping point
.
At work the fulcrum lies in the
Position of the need desire of the job
.
Balancing one’s ability and skill
To the description of the task
.
Along with the requisite pay for
Skill level and the need for income
.
Rarely it seems the fulcrum sits at the
Point between happiness & fulfillment
.
“Just an observation,
Maybe I need
Different glasses.”
.
– Angelo Devlin
Looking at the world through a windshield. 