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Most Farts Are Funny

January 11, 2021

Why is it some people

Feel the need

To fart out

Their opinions

Like an uncapped

Gas line


When you take an audible glimpse

Of what they listen to and watch

You discover their opinions

Are not their own

Just rhetorical repeats

From talking heads

Getting paid to expel methane


Observing allegedly grown adults

Engaging in farting contests

On FB and around water coolers

Wafting them in and around

In a pseudo plan of winning

Like in a chili cook-off where

The best recipe is adopted

As a base formula for all chili


The smelliest one that gets to me

Is the use of socialism

As a bogeyman word

To frighten people

Who simply choose not to think


For example that a $2B a day

Defense and military budget

Is a grotesque example of

Corporate and gov’t socialism

Paying people to produce shit

That ends up (thankfully) unused

Which is still socialism

From a different perspective


That part they don’t fart about

Because they would realize

How hypocritical they are

As it falls under the pretense

Of national security and defense

You know macho prick waving stuff*


I am no economists however

Methinks that $2B a day WMD habit

Could be better spent on

Education birth control

Housing infrastructure

Clean drinking water systems

That itself could eliminate

The bottled water industry

That puts all that plastic

And garbage into the oceans

We seem to have to keep cleaning


I guess if the above is considered

More of an opinion and

Not an observation I will apologize

In advance for letting that rip


*“I happen to agree with most of the feminist philosophy I have read. I agree, for instance, that for the most part, men are vain, ignorant, greedy, brutal assholes who’ve just about ruined this planet. Who’ve just about ruined this planet because they’re afraid someone might have a bigger dick out there somewhere.


Men are basically insecure about the size of their dicks and so they go to war over it.


You don’t have to be a political scientist or a history major to see the Bigger Dick Foreign Policy Theory at work. It goes something like this: “What? They have bigger dicks? Bomb them!”


And of course the bombs and the bullets and the rockets are all shaped like dicks. I don’t understand that part of it, but it is part of the equation.


So I agree with that abstract – that man/men/males have pushed the technology that just about has this planet in a stranglehold. Mother Earth raped again. Guess who – “Hey, she was asking for it.”


– George Carlin

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