The responsibility I need to take on, is to not take on, any more responsibilities.
…………………Shit.
Made smaller, by small minds.
No wonder I keep my mouth shut, when I open it, people put their foot in their mouths.
Tried to open up to socialize, with what was only a step above cliche conversation, (gee, it’s cold outside, or how about them Dodgers?) ( like I give a rat’s ass about the Dodgers)
Noticed a coworker shaved his beard, made the benign, yet timely comment.
“Oh, did you shave that off because there were so many beards at the Golden Globes?”
The answer, should have been, oh I just thought it was time to shave it off.
BUT NOOOOOOoooooo. I got to hear.
“I wouldn’t watch that Democratic propaganda if my life depended on it.”
YIKES!!
“I didn’t watch it much myself, I just got the peripheral reference that everybody had beards this year. Phew, nevermind.
Wait, (dummy me), (me still flabbergasted from his reply), if you didn’t watch it, how would you get that it’s Democratic propaganda?
“Well, I watch the FAUX news and they went on and on about what Meryl Streep had to blah blah blah blah blah blah.
“”Basically, they have taught me how to think, since I seem not to be able to do that on my own.”” My words, not his.
I give FAUX News a chance every now and then, just so I can keep a breast (just kidding, I listen to it on the radio) of what’s going on in the world of fascism, in case I ever need to confront their followers with kindness and compassion.
Hmmm, looks like it’s going to be cold out there, can’t wait for spring.
Guess it’s going to have to be that.
I don’t suppose anybody is going to want to discuss the disintegration and entropy of humanity, because nobody is willing to think for themselves and not be afraid of an opinion, that may be a tad different.
I like my shoes. As much as I know I don’t fit in, can’t socially relate, have the intellectual ability to communicate, with all the technological advancements of smoke signals on a windy day at dusk.
I’d rather be me then any one else.
That would seem to be a good starting off point for anything, right?
I’m always trying to improve my self, myself. I suspect that is one of the unknown quests in being here.
Eminem some “Beautiful” Lyrics
//
So why don’t you all sit down?
Listen to the tale I’m about to tell
Hell, we don’t gotta trade our shoes
And you ain’t gotta walk no thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see
What it’s like, to be me
I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes
Just to see what it’d be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other’s minds
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other’s eyes
But don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful
Oh they can all get f***ed.
Just stay true to you so
Don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful
Oh they can all get f***ed.
Just stay true to you so
Iron Maiden
Some “Die with your boots on” lyrics.
//
No point asking when it is,
No point asking who’s to go,
No point asking what’s the game,
No point asking who’s to blame,
‘Cos if you’re gonna die, if you’re gonna die,
‘Cos if you’re gonna die, if you’re gonna die,
If you’re gonna die, if you’re gonna die,
If you’re gonna die, if you’re gonna die,
If you’re gonna die, die with your boots on,
If you’re gonna try, well stick around,
Gonna cry, just move along,
If you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die.
Of course, I let paranoia run its course to its corse, lest it goes off course, giving me the recourse in due course to take a course about course.
Philosophy Course. Why of? Course.
Instructor. Mr. Ed Horse, of course.
Statement. Why of course.
Question w/ statement. Why? Of course.
Question w/ inquiry. Why? Of course?
Of course this was just for fun.
I am quite sure any linguist would tell me I’m wrong of course, of course.
“I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’
Nothing.
‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’
Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?”
Bill Hicks
I’ve a similar problem, more so from thinking too much, rather then facial structure. Yet, am aware it is an unfortunate relatively permanent scowl.
Been working on a solution to solve two problems at once. One being, plastering on a smile like Jack Nicholson had as the Joker.
Then, tattooing some words on my face that reads. “An angry look on your face, all the time”
So while smiling and seeing someone approach to read the tattoo, they’ll ask.
Why do you have an angry look on you face all the time?
So that I can immediately respond by saying that I have been smiling all day and am not sure what they are talking about.
To which, whomever can finish reading the rest of the tattoo that will read.
“don’t say anything more, this guy is far sighted, and he is smiling all the time because he thinks he has the Ten Commandments tattooed on his face”
Which is solving at least one of my many problems of being able to communicate the paradoxical take my brain has on constantly seeing both sides of a situation and being hampered by whether or not it is appropriate to say something.
“What we’ve got here, is failure to communicate”
From the movie “Cool Hand Luke”
Let that person walk away befuddled and confused as to decide if they should let me actually know what is written on my face.
After all, if it’s tattooed and permanent, they are only peeing on my parade, if they let me know.
That’s the way my brain works, I feel that way all the time, befuddled and confused.
Tolerating the intolerable
Is what gives voice to this blog
Screaming in silence on no ears
Having to accept the unacceptable
Bending my will to have none
Am I wrong that the world is wrong
Knowing in reality it’s really just me
Nor consciously, that I have any desire to
Continue to accept the unacceptable
Believe me, I’m always working on
Altering reactions by altering perceptions
Or unlearning perceived powerlessness
Dialogue doesn’t flow like it’s supposed to
Rather, it releases like the water from the
Relief valve on a water heater after being
Filled to capacity then heated with a
Faulty safety mechanism not to turn
The flame / heat off, causing discharge
Of everything that is so jumbled up
And swirling around under pressure
What usually escapes is some malignant
Non sequitur that throws everybody off
That could maybe, relate to the topic if
The within earshot human could only
Understand that I meant well and not
The detrimental digression that transpires
The taught wrong part is adhering to the
Do as I say, not as I do, nurturing and the
Taut wrong part, is having nature know
The above is disastrous and ineffective
Yet not knowing a better way to replace it.
The dynamic tension between my
Psychology and my physiology is such
That when I’m at a loss for words
My nose twitches and my arm quivers
Bodily interrupting what I’m trying to say
With visible distractions over dialogue
Sometimes feels like I’m a snap away
from catastrophic entropic disintegration
or spontaneous human combustion
Or what rolls through my minds eye
Is like what used to happen on those
Old black and white tube filled TV’S
Where, after being tuned off
A small grayish white light circle
Appeared in the center, getting smaller
And smaller till, pffft it disappears
A friendly ghost.
Nearly 20 years ago when my family moved into our new “old” house the first room that was remodeled was the bathroom.
Besides removing the pink, white, foil looking wallpaper, we changed the tub, sink and toilet. An old fashion styled one, where the tank sat inside a wood enclosure six feet off the ground on the wall.
The tank lever to operate the flush valve was a pull chain tipping down a brass rod over a fulcrum to release a torrent of water with gravity’s aid rushing down to the bowl, clearing everything in its path.
Making itself known, with what I liked to call it the “All in the Family” “Archie Bunker” symphonic Niagara Falls flush.
After about 15 years of that harmonic convergence, the bathroom received another remodel. Giving the crapper a quieter classical carting off of crap.
Still, on occasion, reach for that elusive non-existant pull chain to no avail.
My uncle was a great plumber and passed away a few years ago. I like to think that when this anomaly occurs, he is letting me know he’s around.
He also “shows” up at a fried chicken restaurant / bar where he always stood at the rounded corner of the bar, where “mysteriously” no one while we are there is standing in “his” place.
I miss my uncle.
Mirror with Purpose
Time to deal with the
man in the mirror
Don’t let Trump be your
ugly reflection.
He will go away
If you remove same
Self bad behaviors
Be kind to Muslims
Be kind to Christians
Be kind to Atheists
Be kind to Mormons
Be Kind to Scientologists
Be kind to Buddhists
Be kind to Everyone
Treat women well and
better than equal.
No one deserves equal treatment
Treat each next person
Better than the last
Clear from your mind,
harmful stereotypes
Keep your walls down and
build relationships,
with all the neighbors
To Hell with sanctions
Reciprocity
Is the way to go
Reciprocity
Do unto others as
Others would do unto you
Say what you feel, with
dignity and respect.
There’s a reason
Or an environmental treason
They call it gross consumption
Black Friday
Isn’t the day
the bottom line
Changes color
From red to black
Like dried blood
It’s the day
Hearts are
hardened
Humans are
Trampled
Souls
Are lost
Necessities are
Negated
Wallets, like minds
Are emptied
In the void
So telling
Buying everything
That’s selling
What is it
Why bother
Don’t care
Get me another
(This took a turn I hadn’t planned, yet the typing digits kept going so I left it here)
Children are
Chided
Or is it
Derided
Behave like
A slave
So young
And naive
An overseer
You can’t see
Or exists
Is WATCHING
You
Good behavior
Isn’t a
Choice
It’s a
Manipulation by
A voice
Unconscious Parental
Noise
Contrived malfeasance
To ensure silence
Or stop violence
A good tool
As a rule
If you can
Make it jive
For
Another 365
Till they get
Older
Or stop
Crying,
Knowing all along
You’ve been
Lying
Another turn ? WTF?
Invisible ink
Is what this
Should have been
Written in
Or at least
White on white
Digitized pixels
For it is
Ridiculous
That this will
Anyone Influence
I know I write
This for myself
It belongs in my
Brain or on a shelf
Perhaps it is just
A convoluted
Atta boy for
Leaving
Any and all
Would be
Persons
Safely in the
Spirit realm
No consuming
Consumer
No bullied
Bullier
No parent
Perturber
No earning
Worker
Making traffic
Harder
No targeted
Soldier
No discrimination
Fodder or
Plotter
No religion to
Martyr
No circumcised
Boy or daughter
No bank
Borrower
No school
clogger
Or useless
Blogger
Oh shit, that’s me.
“I’m one of those people who doesn’t really know what he thinks until he writes it down. “
Jake Epping AKA George Amberson
From Stephen King’s “11/22/63”
As I finish
Writing this
Which may
Be the why
To
Internally gloat
Keeping
Hope afloat
Go along
To get along
Making
Entropy strong
Knowing
I’ve crawled
Half a mile
By expunging
This bile
To smile
All the while
Doing my best
With what’s left
Complain now nary
A sound
Making it better
For next time
Around
And he “(Andy) crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit-smelling foulness I can’t even imagine- or maybe I just don’t want to. Five hundred yards… that’s the length of five football fields; just shy of half a mile.”
Red
“Shawshank Redemption”
The danger you know
Of an I told you so
.
Malignant gloating
Hostility floating
Dearth fully joking
Tongue swallow choking
Resentment toting
Embarrass goading
Mistake riding
Perpetuate chiding
Arrogance presiding
Vicious deciding
Attack striking
Hypocrisy hiding
Unabashed temerity
Remorseful clarity
Stopping disparity
Using hilarity
Reacting rarity
Create charity
Looking at the world through a windshield. 