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Paranoia

March 3, 2016

Nature

I think my paranoia comes from having read “1984” in 1984 along with listening and absorbing Styx’s “Kilroy Was Here”, which was certainly mirroring society’s “crackdown” on dissention and dissented thought.  Anyone remember the PMRC?

Which sequentially followed,

Nurture

Growing up,  spending a lot of time at my parents business, where, in their respective offices, had two way mirrors,  so they could observe their employees.

Of which,  I essentially became one of them.  Hey,  Angelo is just tall enough to empty garbage cans, ash trays, dust desks and vacuum. Let’s keep the little fellow busy so he stays out of our hair.

Constantly under the constant monitoring  (or perceived monitoring,  since one could never actually know when one might be observed ).

Yeah, that’s the kind of self scrutiny a six year old should be subjected to.

After posting this, not long after did I “stumble” upon an Iron Maiden song that I’ve heard before,  enjoyed but never really examined the lyrics.  (Shout out to Shazam)

Granted, it is a bit over dramatic (I’m not knowingly “tortured” by a thousand “souls”,  however, the rest seemed to fit, and I’m all for trying to recognize and utilize “synchronicity”.

It seems to be a close lyrical proximation, as to why i write this blog.

I’m just trying to find out who I am and not the shell of a human being, cold and detached as I feel. Knowing that the “someone to save me” is myself.

Let me tell you about my life
Let me tell you about my dreams
Let me tell you about the things that happen
All is real to me

Let me tell you of my hope
Of my need to reach the sky
Let me take you on an awkward journey
Let me tell you why
Let me tell you why

Why should these curses be laid upon me
I won’t be forgiven ’till I can break free
What did I do to deserve all this guilt
Pay for my sins with the sale of my soul

Demons are trapped all inside of my head
My hopes are gone, reach for heaven from hell

My sins are many, my guilt is too heavy
The question of knowing of how then what I know

I’m able to see things
Things I don’t want to see
The lives of a thousand souls
Weigh heavy down on me

I know they’re crying for help reaching out
The burden of them will take me down as well
The sin of a thousand souls not died in vain
Reincarnate still in me live again

Someone to save me
Something to save me from myself
To bring the salvation
To exorcise this hell

Someone to save me
Something to save me from myself
To bring the salvation
To exorcise this hell

 
Written by David Michael Murphy,  Stephen Percy Harris
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From → dark, random

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